When it comes to the subject of accomplishment, never in my life i felt so anxious since the day STPM results were out. That day was very important to me as it determined the path of my life. You see, it was the only road i know that can bring me to where i wanted to go. It was like going to the east coast; there was this direct, wide and safe highway that comes with a certain price, while another one was this one-lane, long winded trunk road with a little risk of its own. The highway was not the road for me.

 

Today there is this intense adrenaline rush to be the soul of the flesh i wanted to be. The expectation i gave myself was immense and i nearly drowned myself in this self created stress.

 

In the end, I realised that I set my expectation wrongly. I was aiming at numbers rather than the art itself. I thought I was chasing after time, when i was actually ahead of it. I could have done more but my guarded heart sets me back.

 

Mistakes here and there were made. It's heartaching to call it an experience, for it's paid with trust and material which is not mine to say it's okay. I'll rather call it as mistakes, a life experience but a mistake still. The only thing i can do now is to learn from it or just quit. Only small men choose the shorter route, the Q-road.

 

Plant some seeds of confidence, be calm as water is only clear when it is still and continue learning as knowledge only comes to those who seek rather than acquired automatically as we age. I must remind myself, i need to pick up the pieces and get back on the road again.

 

~Don't lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality~